Secret TV Club

Secret TV Club has written 79 posts for The Secret TV Club

Posh People: Inside Tatler and how the other fraction live

Terror. That was the principle sensation this documentary generated. Cold rivers of shame sweat gushing down our spine terror seized us at one moment, when one of Tatler’s staff read an excerpt from Debrett’s and we were struck by the comprehension of our gross etiquette ignorance. This guide to mores states, ‘Under no circumstances should … Continue reading

The A Team, Roobarb, and me

A major TV broadcaster asked me to write about the TV shows which influenced me over the years, and here’s what ended up burping out of my fingers…

Game of Thrones: how to watch it in seven episodes

Are you recording the first episode of Game of Thrones series four and thinking, ‘I’ll watch the other three series first and then catch up with everyone’? Then you’re wrong. You won’t. The only available time for that is Easter Weekend and that, as we all know, is dedicated to cramming in as many hangovers … Continue reading

Game of Thrones season four: eight things that happen which we can’t talk about

Stop looking at the clock – it’s not Game of Thrones o’clock yet. It’s not even close – have a nap, go for a walk, or go for a long sleepwalk. You’re right to be excited, because the first episode of the fourth series has several sparkling moments and one sequence which is a stone … Continue reading

Mammon: phrases you need to know for a Norwegian conspiracy drama

Entering any Nordic conspiracy thriller can be daunting, especially when you would swear that’s DS Arnott off Line of Duty. Unlike so many English language thrillers, Mammon doesn’t ask its audience to hold each other’s hand, form a crocodile, and then follow teacher. The first episode revelled in plunging viewers into a straightforward but dull … Continue reading

Storyville: America’s Monster Hunters and 12 times Bigfoot is nearly seen

Tucked away on BBC4 the other week, like a fiver accidentally used as a tissue in a pair of jeans, was America’s Monster Hunters, a film that followed folk searching for Bigfoot. If you haven’t seen it, leg it to the iPlayer and watch it immediately after reading this. What was fascinating was the dedication … Continue reading

Believe: the most JJ Abrams moments from the new JJ Abrams show

J.J. Abrams is a pop culture battery hen and currently nestled snugly under his haunches is a Star Wars egg, full of Jedi yolk. His mothering of this tarnished but adored legacy is a tremendously exciting prospect, given how he revitalised Star Trek into a witty and relevant franchise. Meanwhile, one of his TV chicks that’s just hatched is … Continue reading

Line of Duty: are there any clues in the cast’s tweets?

The existence of a twist in the final episode of Line of Duty is as guaranteed as the existence of a twist in any M. Night Shyamalan film, story, or application for a conservatory. With no previews to even tease what might happen in the finale to a series that has exceeded the first in … Continue reading

Noel Edmonds and Project Reith explained

Last night Noel Edmonds – in all seriousness – revealed he planned to buy the BBC with the backing of a consortium. Honest. We’re off the meth for Lent. In the course of a probing interview conducted by Jeremy ‘Paxman’ Paxman, Noel stated his express intention to save the BBC from ‘sleepwalking’ into disaster. Which … Continue reading

Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle: Stewart’s Guide To Animal Satire

Satire isn’t an easy skill, as any episode of Mock the Week proves with saddening vigour, which is why Stewart Lee’s analysis of satire and animals in satire helps to identify what works. If you haven’t seen this yet then you really should watch it. We spent the afternoon collating his findings and can now present … Continue reading

Latest blather…